When Love Is Lost: The Five Stages of Grief

Losing a love is a difficult situation for anyone to face. Whether you’ve parted ways amicably or broken up in a more tempestuous manner, dealing with the loss of a person you loved in your life is a challenge we all face at one point or another. When you lose love, you can go through stages of grief, much as if someone you were close to has died.

Here are the five stages of grief when you have lost love, and how to get through it.

  1. We don’t like to think that anything is wrong with our relationship- we’ve worked hard to be with our partner and may be disillusioned about the health of the relationship. If you’ve been dating for a long time, it can be even harder to see some red flags that may have popped up. Denial is the first stage of losing love, where you ignore the fact that something might be wrong.
  2. Bargaining may be with yourself or your partner; you could be trying to convince yourself to stay or trying to convince them to stay with you. In this stage, beware of making promises you can’t keep.
  3. We don’t understand why we can’t be happy, why we can’t be in love, or why our partner is leaving us. Anger can be an incredibly harmful force, both emotionally and physically. If you feel yourself getting angry, consider talking to a therapist or friend, or finding a physical activity to release that aggression so that it isn’t directed at your partner.
  4. Even if we know the relationship is doomed, we can still be sad that it is ending. Sometimes this depression is a symptom of the event, breaking up, but if these feelings persist, you may want to seek the help of a medical professional. Resist the urge to run into the arms of another person or seek solace in alcohol or drugs. This sadness will pass.
  5. The final stage of losing a love is accepting that the relationship is over. Closure can be hard to come by, but this stage rolls around for everyone eventually. Acceptance brings peace and stability into your life. You still may not understand why that relationship died, but you can control your life and your own happiness. Healing comes at its own pace, and it’s ok to take a break before you jump feet first back into love again.

As you move through the five stages of grief, it’s important to remember to give yourself some grace. Be kind and gentle with yourself- you’ve gone through a lot. Even if the breakup was friendly, you will still mourn the loss of that person whom you held close. Know that you will move through this experience and come out on the other side wiser and more in control of who and what you want. In the end, stay open to the idea that love can come back in your life.

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