Sometimes people will do spells and when they don’t work, they get frustrated and feel like they have lost who they are. Sometimes someone new will not be able to feel good about their crafting and they find that they need someone to validate them to make them feel better.
People are creatures of habit and society, and we want people to tell us that we are valuable. We want people to make us feel that we fit in, and we want to know we are doing the right thing. We want someone to validate us and help us to feel good about our crafting. The problem is that when we expect people to validate us, we will have problems when they don’t. People are often looking to be validated and this can cause them to be stuck. When validation doesn’t help you, what will you do next?
Why Do We Need Validation?
People will often look for validation because they feel that they need people to see them for who they are. When we look for validation here and there, that is one thing but when you get to the point where you need someone to validate you all the time, there is a problem. Yes, sometimes we need someone to boost our self-esteem when we are feeling low but when you have a chronic desire to be validated, you will need to figure out what is going on. If you need someone to validate you each time you cast a spell, you are going to have problems being a witch because you will keep changing what you are doing to make others happy instead of listening to your inner self.
This kind of behavior might not seem like a big deal and when someone is new, you might think that they are just being safe to make sure that they are not breaking any rules, but when this becomes a pattern, it shows that there is a problem that can lead to the magic not working.
Once you get into a pattern of needing validation, you are taking a chance that your magic will no longer work.
The imposter syndrome is something that means that you always need someone to validate you. When someone is going through this syndrome, they will feel that they fool people into believing that they are someone that they are not. The problem with this is that you are not fooling anyone because you are not an imposter. You feel like you are being fake, but you are being real.
When you do magic, imposter syndrome will often show up because you are getting results from other people’s spells. You will feel that you are not really magical but that it belongs to someone else. This self-doubt can make it hard for you to be able to do your magic when you really are doing it on your own.
Another problem that people are looking for validation is because of what people have told them or what they have learned. When you learn that you need to be an expert in the spiritual world or when you feel that you are not connected like you want to the universe, you will look for others to tell you that you are good.
You can find people that write books and make you feel like you are tricking yourself and others and that you are not really able to do the things that you thought you could do. This can cause you to feel that you are always asking questions and that you are not doing things the right way. This means that someone has taught you and you need to not feel shames because you are different, and you are doing things different than someone else did.
You Aren’t Ready
When you are a new witch, chances are that you will do things and then you will feel that you aren’t ready for the next step. Maybe you do not feel that you know enough or there isn’t enough information about what you are trying to do. Whatever the reason that you feel this way, this can cause you to miss out on what you are doing.
If a witch is always wanting someone else to validate them then they will not experience things for themselves and they will never grow to trust who they are.
Why Validation Won’t Fix You
The real problem is that you have a problem inside that needs to be fixed. People that have internal problems often seek outside validation to make themselves feel better. If you feel that you aren’t getting the validation that you need, it might stop you from becoming who you want to be. External validation is not something that is going to fix you it is just something that is hiding what is really wrong with you.
There is a deeper problem that you are refusing to look at when you are this way. You need to look at the patterns and see how they are stopping you from growing. You need to look at the magic that you are doing and see if it is taking away your confidence or if it is helping you to be stronger. The goal in your life is to make changes so that you can use your magic in the right way. When you are always wanting someone else to validate you then you are telling yourself that you cannot do crafting and that you are not able to do real magic. You are also telling yourself that other people have the power to do things, but you don’t. You have to change your beliefs about who you are so that you can gain the power that you need.
If you believe that you are not able to make magic happen then you will not ever be able to make it work. You will stop yourself from becoming better and being able to do or create magic. People will use their subconscious minds to hold themselves back and they will not be able to think or act on their own. This will only take away your power. You have to stop trusting everyone else and learn to trust your own powers. You have to stop thinking that you need everyone else to tell you that you are good enough and start telling ourself. You have to change the way that you believe in things.
What Should You Do?
You need to look at the problems in your life and find out what has caused you to be stuck in this same pattern. You have to find your own confidence level and figure out how you can be the best witch you can be. You have to be confident in doing your own magic and you do not have to be the best in the world but just the best that you can be. You don’t have to even worry if your magic is going to work but you have to develop your skills to build your confidence. You have to learn to trust that you can learn new skills and that you can do things because of all of the resources and help that you have around you. You have to be able to learn and be able to listen to other people. You can see your abilities grow right before your eyes if you stop doubting yourself.
Here are some ways that you can figure out what your problem is and move on in your life:
What if You Have Imposter Syndrome?
If you have the imposter syndrome then you are fearful of what other people think about you. This is what the root problem is with this syndrome. This means that you are worried that you are going to disappoint people and instead of doing it anyways, you protect yourself from the rejection that you might feel. This can make you feel fearful or that you are in a dangerous situation.
People want to be accepted and even if you feel that you are not about that, you are. When you can work with other people, and you can work alone then you will see that you can survive. You will see that you can be strong in a group but that you are capable of doing things on our own. You have the things that you need around you to do your magic and you do not have to be worried about being rejected. Learn to keep your social bonds strong but learn to work with yourself as well.
Even though your brain is telling you that you don’t want to be rejected, you have to stop trying to protect yourself from something that hasn’t happened yet. If you are really doing your best and you aren’t faking it, no matter what others think of you, you need to change your thinking pattern.
Do what you want to do and get rid of the imposter syndrome doubt. Learn to do the right things and stop letting society make you feel rejected. You are not going to be someone that gets rejected by everyone and your brain will try to make you feel that you are going to be rejected because you have this syndrome, but you can be safe when you learn to accept what you are feeling. You have to see if your feelings are made up or if they are realistic and once you figure it out, you will be less afraid.
When you see the fear and you are able to look at the thoughts behind your fear, you ca move forward, and this will help you to grow. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever feel the imposter syndrome coming back, but when you do, learn to recognize it, and learn to show that you can do what is safe and that you can think beyond this and be stronger.
People that have old programming have a hard time accepting who they are. They often feel that they are not able to live up to what other people expect from them. You can take time to write down what you are feeling and what your beliefs are. Ask yourself these things:
- Why do I feel that other people can connect with the universe, but I cannot?
- Who told me that I cannot trust my spiritual self?
- When have I ignored my own self for validation of others?
- What does my inner wisdom tell me?
- What kind of spiritual relationship do I want to have?
Once you answer these questions in your journal, this can show you what the beliefs that you have are. It can show you that someone along the way has programmed you to think certain things and that it doesn’t often fit who you are.
Sometimes programming like this can take time to push away. You have to learn to listen to your intuition and to find out how to connect with your spirit being. You have to learn to take risks and be comfortable with who you are and what you believe. You can experience your own spiritual feelings and your own experiences, and you can get the guidance that you need along the way. Even if you feel afraid, you can show yourself that you are good enough and that you are able to connect any way that you want. You have your own power to grow.
When You Don’t Feel Ready
When you do witchcraft and you feel that you aren’t ready, you might be missing some information that can help you. Witchcraft is not as dangerous as you might have been told but if you feel that it is too dangerous for you to move forward then you might need to take a step back. You will definitely want to protect yourself and others, but you have to figure out what is missing and what you are not seeing that shows you that this might not be as dangerous as you think.
Find out what kind of magic you are using and what you can do when there is an emergency in your life. You can even learn how to handle magic that is out of control. There are many blogs, videos, books, and articles about these things, and you can learn that magic is more than something going wrong. You can find magic that can prevent things from coming back on you or someone else and once you are more confident, you can move forward in your crafting.
Your magic does not depend on someone being an expert and you do not need someone to approve you each time you decide to try a spell. Figure out your rituals and how to cast it and let your magic make you feel confident and to have the power you need. You are able to do magic and to have the power that you want without being afraid.
You can grow and you can become powerful. You can find effective ways to craft and to be strong in your gift and to reach the capacity to become the best that you can be. Do not let your thinking hold you back.