Are you someone that is always attracting narcissistic men? Are you loving, kind and successful and you have insecurities like other women but its like you have it written all over you? Narcissistic men can see this from a mile away.
There are women that are always going to attract toxic men, and this happens because they feel that they are not good enough and even though they have a great heart, they feel unworthy of love.
Men become attracted to this, especially narcissists because they are able to hook you and when they see weak women, self-centered guys want to find someone like you.
These are guys that have strong power over our lives and here is what a narcissist is:
- Someone that wants to have their ego stroked.
- Needs someone to take care of him.
- Wants a woman to deal with his child-like wants and needs.
- Wants a smart woman so he can sound even smarter than her.
- Wants to have someone that can take care of their own needs, so he doesn’t have to.
The skills of a narcissist include that wherever you are insecure, he can gain form this. So, when you first meet the narcissist, he will give you what you want such as:
Then all of a sudden, once you are manipulated by his charm, you will see that he is someone that is completely opposite. He will leave you feeling drained and not good enough. You will find that you are even more secure than you ever were.
Once you are in this relationship, you wonder how you could have ever been so manipulated. You know that you are smart but how were you so dumb to fall for this kind of relationship?
The truth is a person that is narcissistic is someone that has great traits. They are someone that is charming, and they make deep connections. They make you feel that you have known them forever and they make you feel safe and fun, for a while.
These people will attract you and then they will hurt you. Here are some ways that you can spot a narcissist and stay away from them:
Tell Him What You Want
At the beginning of the relationship, tell him what you want. Even though this might seem self-centered, if he whines and he acts like he wants to have his way, pay close attention to what he is saying.
Find out if what he is saying is about you or if he is just trying to impress you with what he says to win you over.
A man that is confident and grown up will not feel that they need to perform to get to know you, but they will do what it takes to know who you are. They will be grounded, and they will give you what you want and not always be demanding.
Mention things that you want to try such as a new restaurant or a new movie or ask him to change the time of a date you had planned. Tell him to share his feelings and to tell you about his childhood.
A narcissist scan be very good at giving you information that you want but not information that is true. They might tell you that they want to hang out with their friends but not invite yours or he may only take you to places that he wants to try out. Look at your relationship and see if it is based around you.
A lady wants to have her needs met and you need to make sure you ask for what you want and need and see what happens.
Must Have Needs
There are things that you will have in a relationship. Relationships aren’t based just on fun or on things that you want, but there are needs. You want someone that is kind, caring and loving. You want to be with someone that respects you and understands what you want. You want to be treated like a woman.
When a guy hurts your feelings, does he make it out like it is your fault? Does he take what you say and turn it around on you? Does he tell you he knows the best choices for you? Does he take charge of the conversation and not let you talk? Do you feel that he takes advantage of your kindness? Do you feel that you are not good enough when you are with him? Are you always making excuses for his behaviors?
If you find that you are not able to live up to the values and goals that you have in life, you need to find someone new to be with. You have to get away from this relationship or you will end up down a bad path. Take action as soon as you can, take action now to get out.
Go at Your Own Time
When a guy comes into your life, he should let you take things as slow as you want. No guy should come in and demand time and a relationship, but narcissists are good at this.
Love bombing is a way that you can influence a person to give you attention. This happens because at first, they sweep you off your feet because they are so strong and charming that you believe they will take care of you. They promise you things, but the promises are empty.
No matter how good this feels, this is an unhealthy thing. Love bombing is not love and he wants to play you and get you on his side so that he can take over you and be in charge of you.
Do not let the relationship rush. Take it slow and if you feel that he is trying to control the pace of the relationship or is trying to be in charge of you or love bombing you, chances are he is a narcissist.
If you feel that you are getting love bombed, figure out what he wants. Tell him you want to take things slower and you don’t want him to make promises to you. See if he backs off or if he keeps trying to manipulate you.
Be firm with him and do not allow yourself to get caught up in something that is not real.
A narcissist will break your heart. They are pretending to be someone that they aren’t, and you have to have enough self-esteem to make sure that you are strong. You deserve to be with someone that loves you and respects you for who you are and not for what you give.